Why I love my community....

A friend told me this morning that she had to drive down the main road next to Aranui in the dark last night.  
It is severly damaged with holes and cars trapped everywhere and no streetlights on. 
The street was lined with young guys from the community wearing hoodies....
sounds ominous I know....
but they were all shining torches on the road to guide the cars through safely.  
A row of hooded angels.
Kia kaha

Devastated

Another big earthquake today. 
There will probably be sporadic blogging for a while.  
We have gone to stay with relatives out of town - feeling heartbroken and overwhelmed and guilty leaving my community behind but decided I can't be much use with the three little ones to care for so best to get them away and safe.

Bexley - a communtiy reeling from the quake - Campbell Live - Video - 3 News

Realising just how much I love my neighbourhood and the people there.  
Hoping that everyone stays safe and that the help needed arrives.

Zoe's first date

Last night Zoe went on her first date.

With her Dad.

We decided it was time for her to go on her first date when I overheard her and Kasey* talking about boys late last year (and yes she is only six). Actually it was Kasey telling Zoe which boys liked her.   I talked to Zoe about it later and she said lots of girls in her class have boyfriends.

Me: What does it mean if you have a boyfriend?

Zoe: You go out and hold hands and stuff

Me: Do the girls in your class do that with their boyfriends?

Zoe: They hold hands at lunchtime sometimes. Lana* says that her and David* go to the cafe      together but she's lying because they are only six.

Me: Do any of them kiss?

Zoe: The big kids do at school

Me: In the playground?

Zoe: No they go to the wheelchair toilet because there are no kids in wheelchairs at our school.

How romantic!

Me: Do you have a boyfriend?

Zoe: Matthew* likes me but I don't want a boyfriend

Me: Why not?

Zoe: Because I'm only five and it's silly to have boyfriends when your five.

Me: Zoe Jane - you are a very smart girl.  

So we decided that Dad would take her on a date.  Having boyfriends is mostly about feeling special and loved and her Dad should be taking the lead role there anyway.

It reminded me of a  conversation between Dad and Zoe one night (she was 4) when he was putting her to bed......
Zoe: I'm getting big now
Dad: You certainly are
Zoe: When I get bigger and have a boyfriend then I need to have another bed for my boyfriend because he will need his own bed.

Damn right he will!!!

Love thy neighbour....

Many of you know how 'interesting' our relationship has been with one of our neighbours.  One of my favourite moments would have to be a warm summer's evening when Iain and I were out on the front deck enjoying a quiet beer.  Stacey* started chatting away to us over the fence having enjoyed quite a few beers herself.

Stacey: 'Hey do you guys watch adult movies?'

Us: (mumbling and trying not to make her feel silly for asking....)'ummmm, not really....'

AWKWARD!

Stacey: 'Just wait I'll go get it - it's so funny.'

We hear one of the kids call out from the bedroom...
"I'll get it!" I race to the door leaving my lovely husband behind to talk to Stacey ; -)
I come back and Stacey has gone, Iain has the DVD 'Puppetry of the Penis'.  Whew - that's not as bad as I was thinking!
Stacey is quite sober and embarrassed when I return the dvd a few days later.

Stacey: 'What did you think of it?'

Me: 'It was funny but they're not that clever - my wee boy does half those tricks every time I change his nappy.'

Intentional by Proxy

When people ask me 'How is it going?' about where we live I find it a difficult question to answer. Inherent in the question is an assumption that we are 'doing' something - we're not.  We're not running any groups or programmes, we're not even 'building relationships' very much - the only thing we are 'doing' is our life here.  I know that 'intentional' is a buzz word at the moment - especially when it comes to building community but I would like to propose a new buzz word:

'unintentional'

It fits much better with my personality and my lifestyle.  I am pretty lazy and I've got three kids, my husband runs his own business on the other side of town and most of the time we are focusing on surviving.  
And that's why I'm most grateful for living here - by living here we get the easy way out, the chance to help others often arrives, quite literally, on our doorstep.  Like the time two young girls knocked on our door late one night freaked out about the guy they thought was following them - Iain gave them a ride home.  

Or there's the young Samoan girl who lives a few doors down who occasionally turns up to use our phone because they haven't been able to pay their phone bill and been disconnected.  
She brought me this one day to say thanks.


Or the other young girl who asked to ring her midwife from our house to cancel an appointment because she had no bus money - I was going that way anyway so I got to give her a lift and pick up her boyfriend on the way. 
See how lucky we are?  We get the chance to help people in a way that costs us very little time and energy but makes a difference to them.  Sometimes I think it can't even count as serving God because it costs us so little (I'm a bit masochistic that way).

True or....Pretend?

Kasey* has become a regular feature at our house.  She is one of Zoe's friends from school and one day she figured out where Zoe lived and has been here every other day since.  She often turns up just after school finishes and hangs around till teatime - I get the feeling she is expected to stay out of the way at home till then.   
She lives just around the corner with her Nanna as her mum is in prison.  The first time she showed up at our house I asked if her Nanna knew where she was - not likely. So I rang her Nanna to introduce myself and let her know where Kasey was - I'm sure her Nanna thinks I'm a bit weird now.  

Kasey is always making things up like 'It's my birthday tomorrow'(at least once a fortnight) and 'My mum gets out of prison next week and she's taking me to Australia.'(or something similar).  I am not sure if she really believes what she is saying or just likes to pretend - probably a bit of both.  
Much to our surprise her mum actually did turn up to pick her up on the weekend so I'm hoping for Kasey that she'll have a lot more 'real' things to look forward to this year.

Finally, a question about God that I CAN answer....

Zoe: "Is God long Mummy?"

Me: "I'm not sure what you mean..."
Zoe:  "Is God a person?"
Me: "Well, kind of..."
Zoe: "Is God a pumpkin?"

Me: "No Zoe, God is not a pumpkin."

And that's just one conversation of many. From the age of 3 Zoe has been asking crazy questions about God - Where does God live? What clothes does God wear? Who made God?  We don't actually talk about God that much - we're pretty slack on the saying grace and prayers stuff but still it's like she has an inherent spirituality that has nothing to do with us.

For awhile Zoe carried around an old pocket Bible with her everywhere and would pretend to read it.   One day we were having a discussion about chickens and I told Zoe that a girl chicken was called a hen and a boy chicken was called a rooster.  
Zoe: "It is not called a rooster."
Me: "It is Zoe - a boy chicken is called a rooster."
Zoe whipped out her pocket bible...."Let's see what Jesus says."

 

Hamish moments

I have managed to recover some more of my old blogs - YAY!  

So here is a collection of some of my favourite Hamish moments....

Orange on a toothpick  

Hamish's latest Plunket stats.... Weight - 20th percentile. Height - 50th percentile. Head Circumference - 90th percentile. No wonder the poor boy can't walk yet.  31 January 2008

You know you are breastfeeding a boy when......

they make car noises and drive their hand around your boob like it's a race track - it's so time to wean!  September 2008

One for you....one for me.... 

I came home from the dentist today after having two teeth taken out. I was under orders by Zoe that I had to bring the teeth home for her to see. I took the teeth out and laid them both in my palm.  Zoe picked one up to have a closer look and Hamish, thinking the other one must be for him, quickly picked it up and put it in his mouth - yummy!  August 2009 

No toy guns in our house

My son has found my old breast pump...and is now running around pretending to shoot everyone with it.  October 2009

Mother's day presents 

A glittery angel  from Zoe and a back scrubber from Hamish. "Thankyou Hamish is this for scrubbing my back in the shower?" Hamish - "no it's for scrubbing the floor." May 2010

How encouraging

Hamish and Zoe are pretending to feed their baby dolls...Hamish: "I'm feeding my baby I need some space please." At least I know he listens to me even if he ignores it when I say it! July 2010

Artistic Flair

I refuse to have my kids enrolled in every after school activity under the sun so the plan is that they get to choose one thing to try at a time - so far we've done ballet and gymnastics.

Zoe wants to do art classes this year - luckily I have found an inexpensive laid back gallery in Brighton that runs classes for kids.  She has always been good at art - here is her artistic version of her name at age 3.

The problem is she likes to draw/write on everything...

In the first week of school she snuck out of the classroom with some crayons and decorated the bathroom.

Then there was the time that we thought the children were all tucked in and peacefully sleeping....until we heard the giggling...

Just you try telling that off!

Such Horrible Words.....

..."palliative care" - especially when they are talking about a beautiful wee 3 year old girl who is losing her battle with cancer.   
I hardly know the family, but I know that they are good people and that they love God.  I am gutted for them - I can't imagine what they must be going through. 
If God does still do miracles today then this would be a good time for Him to step up...

I think I might hug my kids a little more often today.

 

Honouring the Treaty

Sending my kids along to Kohanga is one little way that I try and honour the Treaty of Waitangi.  
I have struggled with learning Te Reo myself but I have learnt so many other things through my involvement...
....about what it's like to be in the minority
....about whanau
....about dealing with frustration
....about wisdom
....about respect.

For me honouring the Treaty today starts with stepping out of my comfort zone for the sake of others – to speak and live against injustice.

Being willing to allow myself to be changed for the sake of others. 

Sometimes I wonder if having my kids at Kohanga is just some idealistic social experiment on my part and that it will just confuse my children.….

Then I watch as a 7 year old boy teaches my son how to gently hongi a baby and I feel so privileged that my family gets to be a part of this.

Kohanga Reo 2

My oldest, Zoe, picked up Te Reo insanely fast while I picked up little bits here and there at a snail's pace.

 One day she was helping me practice:

Zoe: He aha tena? (What is that?)

Me:  He rakau ahau

Zoe laughs.

Me: What's so funny?

Zoe laughs again.

Me: I just said 'That is a tree'.

Zoe: No Mummy - you said "I am a tree"

Smart ass.

Then there was the time my friend (whose two Pakeha children go to kohanga with mine.) overheard Ted* and Gemma* playing: 

Ted: I'll be the Maori and you be the naughty Pakeha trying to steal my land..."

Kohanga Reo

Three years ago my friend and I rocked up to the local Kohanga Reo to enrol our children.  
We were met with surprise when we explained that our children have no Maori ancestory and were asked to explain why we were chosing to bring our kids to Kohanga.  
There are many reasons and some of them are....
- I knew the value in children learning a second language and since New Zealand is supposedly bilingual I thought it made sense for my children to learn Maori.
- It is just around the corner from us.
- I wanted my children to grow up with an understanding of other cultures and to understand the special place of Maori as tangata whenua of NZ.
-I wanted to increase my own understanding of te reo and tikanga.

Patiently waiting....

Coping with the wobbles.

I have been amazed at how the kids responded to the big quake and all it's aftershocks - doing much better than their Mum!  
Zoe did lots of 'art therapy' for ages everything she drew had wobbly lines in it.  This picture is what she drew the day after the big shake - it's us waiting under the table while Dad is outside listening to the car radio.

Erin didn't notice much but she did have her naps under the table for a few weeks...

Hamish wore his hard hat and superhero cape for weeks - he was ready for the next one!  
One day they had an aftershock when he was at kohanga.  When I picked him up I asked him,
"What did you do in the earthquake today?" 
He looked at me a little confused then replied,
"I made the wobbling stop."
Of course - what else would you do!